I sat there for a while, just thinking and enjoying the music. As the children's choir began to leave with their parents, I watched the small girl from the bathroom walk past me to the exit of the church, pulling on her sweater and walking briskly in front of her father. I watched as the girl stepped up to the tabernacle and knelt to pray, bowing her head and closing her eyes. Then after making the sign of the cross, she exited the church, carefully dipping her finger in the bowl to get some holy water. Her father, did nothing but walk out.
It made me sad to see this. The innocence and faith of the young has always inspired me, but what happened to the enthusiasm of the old?
As I watched them leave I vowed never to let myself get to that point, never to forget the importance of my faith, and the meaning it holds in my life now. I never want to lose that peace of mind that comes with knowing Christ is always with you, and everything that comes with that. I realized though, that I do forget, all the time. If it wasn't for God's little reminders, the moments of peace before mass, or the sound of children singing, and little chats in the line for the bathroom, then we would all just forget, and let chaos rule our lives 24 hours of the day.
Earlier today, I had sunk right back into my crazy hectic life. After a weekend of escape, nothing in the real world had changed, and I was thrust back into stress and work, without any rest. I remember thinking for a brief moment when my mind was not otherwise preoccupied, that it did not seem fair to have to jump right back into chaos, as if nothing had changed, while my heart was so different. It was like I was wrenched away from my peace with God, and put straight back into the fray of humanity.
But for that one moment before mass I was all right. I was back there, I was happy and peaceful. Even if it was just for that one moment. It was as if God was giving me this peace, to remind me that everything I do, I do it for those moments, no matter how small. And that I do it, so that other people can experience it as well, and find the happiness and peace that can only be found in his arms.
I need these moments to survive, these reminders to keep living and breathing for him, and him alone. If I didn't have them, I would probably end up just like that girl's father, who sees no meaning in entering a church, or passing the blessed sacrament on his way out.
I want the innocence of a child, every minute of the day, the simplistic life that allows you to follow blindly. Only children have the capacity to have faith that can move mountains, because their minds are never filled with doubts about what they are taught. It's in those peaceful moments I am brought back to my childhood, and it's those moments that keep me focused on God.